What Do We Really Love About Mother Nature?

The ground squirrel in these photos was caught and promptly killed by an adult guardian dog but not eaten. The pups never ate it either, but they played with the little carcass over and over for three-four days before it was so chewed up there was only scraps of it left. By virtue of the fact that they spend their days living out in natural spaces guardian dogs can, and do, kill other animals, although no one wants to share this side of their nature. They can raid nests, kill snakes and small mammals, and on the rare occasion kill foxes, coyotes and other canines in their pack.

We want to hold fast to the idea of them as overseers of our flock and as guardian angels but what they are, and arguably, what they deserve to be seen as, is guardian dogs. As we become more and more fixated on dogs being our children rather than being canine, photos like these will shock.

As long as we don’t know, or want to see, what Mother Nature is really up to we can live behind the curtain of all is well. We can love Mother Nature because we can sit in her glorious sunsets and believe there is no cruelty and no acts of violence playing out in her world. But can we really know and love Mother Nature without getting to know the cruelty and acts of violence that naturally exist in her world? Can we really know and love ourselves if we remain disconnected from Mother Nature?

A couple weeks back I posted photos on Instagram of Crows and Magpies being around the lambing pasture and causing grief through lambing. That stirred some ill feelings towards the birds. But the death of this ground squirrel by the dogs doesn’t make us quite as willing to pile onto dogs as nuisance animals.

We don’t want to admit that we favour and rank one species above another, or that we place a value on death based on our attachment to the life lost. But we do. (This behavior very apparent in my life during lambing season). We rank different deaths as more or less tragic all the time; indeed it is natural to do so. The tragedy is that we now do so without noticing, without pausing to let death, or loss of ecosystem, or ruination of habitat, touch the bone deep part of us that aches for any loss, and thus heightens our respect for nature and our gratitude for living.

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Knowing Where He Belongs

After lengthy time off to recover from an injury this young dog is on the alert more so than usual.

livestock guardian alerts to suspicious movement in the distance.

He has been off duty due to injury for the past seven weeks. He missed the entire lambing season. While he was healing he resided at the yard/in the house with us. He joined the Kelpies and me for daily exercise and we began to joke that he was becoming a good farm dog. My plan was to return him to work at the end of this week and supervise his first couple hours with the flock and the other dogs. Instead he left during a walk one morning (something he had not done on all the previous walks), jumped two fences and returned himself to work.

After a lengthy time off he still knows where he belongs and with whom and he just wants to be there. I wish to have his level of assurance about knowing where he belongs and what he is meant to do.

I’ve been trying to find that confident assurance with my creative pursuits. My studio time this week involved more photography related work than artwork as I scoured through thousands of photos and tried to shape my thoughts around what it looks like to hang out one’s shingle and BE Photographer. There should be something to mark it as official, something to give me the concrete assurance I am looking for and there just isn’t. Like all other aspects of life the thing we look hardest for lies within, not without.

Fittingly enough, I also came across this quote in my journal: “Better to move forward and figure it out than to stand still and believe you know the right answer.” Seth Godin.

I don’t know what Being Photographer looks like yet, but I do know I’ve been standing still for a long time, afraid to take any ownership of the title. Stepping up to own that photographer is entirely possible feels uncertain but yet it holds the right amount of knowing that photography appeals very strongly to me, that it always has.

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Good Day

It has been some time since I last wrote. All my sentences feel full of hiccups because what words are the right words after a long absence?

I have all sorts of reasons / excuses for the lapse in posting but the more honest reason is that for a period of time I just didn’t have fresh words to share. Everything I put down seemed to be one long repeat of everything already shared. Life, this ranch life in particular, seemed to be on a rinse and repeat cycle. Breeding, shearing, vaccinating, lambing, grazing, sorting, selling and repeat. And for a time I stopped appreciating the marvels within the ordinary wash of life. Doing anything about it felt dangerous and stalling felt safe.

But stalling also feels very empty. So I find myself back at the computer, staring at a blank white MacJournal screen and wondering, what are the right words to begin with after a long absence?

When I’m fumbling for the words it’s photography that most often salvages what I can’t seem to. It is photos that fill space and time and thought, and it is photos that often speak more vividly about this life than I can write. And so I’ll let some photos be the finish of this post – photos to say it’s still pretty much life as usual over here and from this place of ordinary nature I’ll begin once again to look for, and share, the marvel and the miracle in this land and livestock life.

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