Musing

The Bird on Your Shoulder

Musing / March 20, 2024 / By

wool sheep with a black bird on her back

You have a notion you just can’t shake.  An idea/problem/reoccurring issue that rides around with you.  Perched there on your shoulder, you see it from the corner of your eye.

If you would turn and face it full on you would know it for what it is, realize what it is trying to tell you.  You would hear the call, see the gift.  But you don’t, you’re still too unsure of the rising up it will ask you to do, or afraid that if it notices you reaching for it, it will take flight and disappear altogether.

So you appreciate that it is there.  It is a small, ironic comfort to you.  Prompting you to think of the things you see yourself doing in your unlived life.  So you do not usher it away.  Instead you put your head down and graze, not yet committed to the new and not yet done with the old, further contemplating the ending of things and wondering about the beginning of others.

During a walk last week, I was marveling that I could use the pasture trails due to lack of snow.  I was mulling over how small the flock is, how simple the winter chores are, how few guardian dogs are here and how many Kelpies, and how far off course this winter felt.  There have been changes in my day to day work load; changes that eased themselves in over the course of a years time rather than arriving all at once.  As I walked and thought of what my day was shaping up to be I caught myself wondering … am I even in agriculture anymore?

Maybe I never was.

This is the bird on my shoulder.

Prairie Allure

Musing, Prairie / December 20, 2023 / By

Two dogs walking in prairie grass

The sky is a blanket of gun mental grey, the wind is barely there. Tinted by frost the yellow and burnt oranges of the grasses are more grey than gold.  The trees are leafless.  No sunlight shines and no shadows are cast.

The landscape of prairie stretching outward under the flat sky is beautifully composed with an opulent silence. No sound is being made and yet every sound is being heard. The trail for one leading onward is alluring. The dogs and I walk long and deep because it is what the morning calls for. And with the walking perspectives are realigned and purposes are recharged.

Pastoral Tasks

Musing, Sheep / July 30, 2023 / By

Moving the flock is one of those tasks that has me feeling slightly annoyed knowing I have to do it but as soon as the Kelpies and I are underway, feeling glad that I get too. There is a feeling of assurance and rightness in doing one of the oldest pastoral tasks there is. The smooth flock moves are golden of course. Yet even the rough flock moves where things go awry leave their pastoral stamp upon the soul.

Last night’s plan was to night pen the ewes and release them to a new pasture in the morning. It wasn’t a long move but what I didn’t take into account was how frisky the ewes were feeling on account of cooler weather after several days of intense heat. I let my assumption of an easy move with a flock I know blind me to the real mood of the ewes. The move was soured when we lost our sheep. My frustration got the better of me and I wrongfully chastised the stock dog who was helping me. He had no clue what his misstep had been – he hadn’t made one at that point.

In the grand scheme of things a move gone awry is trivial. We always get the flock where needed and we all still show up for work the next day. In hindsight, the injury lies in knowing that I let wee frustrations interfere with the pastoral nature of the task in front of me. Letting haste and frustration steal those moments feels like wasting a vital and precious piece of my own nature. Wasting those moments feels like disregard for the very thing I am searching for in raising sheep in this manner.

wool sheep with cowbirds