Surrender to Chaos

The ewe in the photo birthed in a dry slough bottom which for some little reason pleased me to see. She is nuzzling lamb number two while number one makes a first attempt to find milk.

The first lamb races also started up today, but certainly did not include the lambs above.

For the first portion of lambing the pasture scene is relatively quiet, in action and sound. The first ewes to lamb and each one following all still have their lambs close by. But now those oldest lambs have discovered they can move away from mom and that there are other lambs to move with. In small groups they run pel-mel along trails and down hill slopes and back up in the ultimate display of play for the sake of play. Ewes are calling, lambs are calling. As I make my way around the pasture I see lambs with no ewe and ewes looking for lost lambs. There is no attempt on my part to sort it out though – that is the job of the ewes and lambs. The pasture scene is now chaos, in action and sound, and there is nothing to do but surrender to it and attempt to enjoy the activity of it.

Whether it has been a smooth day of lambing or a rough one I find moments of relaxation and distraction in felting even if I don’t get much time for doing it right now. Lambing time (i.e. raising market lambs) and working with wool is stirring thoughts of raising fibre animals and questioning market lambs. With the recent publicity of the Beyond Beef product I find myself once again stirred up by agriculture and how senselessly extreme some of these choices are.

Once again people are focused on a product and remain blind to an underlying mindset that says land, animal and plant are commodities to be bought/sold rather than natural resources to be honoured. I do feel that this is a fundamental flaw of farmers and ranchers on the whole and the Beyond Beef discussion/debate is bringing some of these thoughts to the surface again. This is a type of chaos playing out in agriculture and I’m wrestling with surrendering to this chaos and letting it be or responding. But I need to leave that topic for tonight as it will take more brain power than I have to sort it out and time is tight for all things not sheep, dogs or lambing right now, plus sleep is pulling hard at my edges.

So I’ll leave off with sharing the piece of fibre art that gave me some distraction during the past week and come back to the deeper topics as I can.

Fibre Queens, 12 x 30 inches, needle felted. For sale.

View more felting artwork and regular photographs at Instagram or Facebook.

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Another Year, Another Round

I shrug the small, lightweight, purple backpack over my shoulder onto my back and click the waist belt in place. I lift the shepherds crook from the box of the Ranger. Eyes looking down I begin a half circle around a ewe and her twin lambs, gently spiralling toward her. She gurgles to the lambs, urging them to their feet and then breaks off, trotting away. I make a dive forward, hooked the quickest lamb around the neck to check it up before hooking the second. Another reach for the first lamb again and I’ve got the two of them at my feet. The ewe turns back, alarm written all over her face. I present the lambs in front of me to let her know where they’re at. She comes in closer but stays well out of reach. She frets, rushes off, rushes back, does a fast circle around me. One of the lambs bleats and the ewe comes to a stand and answers. Her lambs are here; she talks, the lamb answers. I cradle the lambs in my lap, unsnap the backpack and dig out the elastrator and rings. I work as swift as I can, one band on the tail of each lamb, one band on the nuts of the male lamb, a paint mark on each and then a timely return to the ewe at a moment when she is looking toward us, searching for her lambs.

Lambing started with a single lamb, dead on arrival or shortly thereafter, the ewe nowhere to be found. The next day presented a dead pregnant ewe. Then a lovely set of twins, a single, … and five more lambs since.

I did not get excited about lambing time this year. Did not check the calendar or experience the usual amount of anticipation for it. I wasn’t dreading it either, I just did not think about it. Perhaps the flatline state is an emotional pre-screening of sorts, knowing the up’s and down’s that are ahead. I’m not sure. I do know some of my energy is tied up in worry over the grass which is nothing I can control but is something I have to consider and make decisions with. I’ve begun to chew on the thought that we may be parting with some of this flock.

I am eager to see more Corriedale lambs born and entering the flock this year. Once again I put the straight bred Corrie ram and two Corrie ram lambs with select ewes. I’m liking last years white face, female replacement lambs and am anticipating more high quality fleeces from this flock. Corriedale sheep were something we wanted when we began with sheep but ignored because it was difficult to find them. It still is. Funny how everything comes around one way or another.

Two days into lambing and I’m quickly re-establishing the annual routine for this busy time. No big reasons to make any big changes so I won’t. I used to ear tag female lambs but I’ve decided to stop with that and go with tagging them later when we know they’re staying on. Or else, not tagging at all, which is a thought percolating in the back of my head.

Otherwise, for the next month I’ll be spending a good deal of time on pasture, with sheep, with dogs, with ticks, and with any luck maybe even with a little bit of rain.

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To Quiet My Heart

When creating artwork, more often than not I attempt to put across a certain feel and more often than not, I get close but come up short. But every once in a blue moon it works the other way around. I finish a piece of art and upon finishing realize the work carries a thought or emotion I didn’t knowingly attempt to put into it.

Walking softly, not urgent, but knowing.
To move quietly but still be heard and seen because it matters that you are where you are.
To be present in your surroundings.
To hold onto the layers and textures of living.
Not making grand entrances or racing for an end goal.
It’s not about fancy, it’s not about fast but it is about moving.
And sometimes the important way to move is
subtle
gentle
quiet
and knowing.

If any picture can convey how I wish to exist while on this land this piece of artwork is the one right now. But this year I don’t know how to go about doing so. With the land in such a state of drought every move with the flock feels like a damaging one. We are urgent feeling about grass and moisture. I am more unknowing about it all than ever before. I wonder if the land just needs us to disappear so it may have time to adjust and if that is the case I feel pain for not being able to give that. Nothing about this is quiet to the mind and heart.

I know now that I was reaching to create a scene that would quiet my heart and still the racing thoughts of doubt. I needed to make this piece of artwork even though I felt little sense of that when I started out with it.

“Moving On”
28” x 12”
Made with wool, by hand.
I have not priced this piece yet. It’s going to hang nearby for the immediate future, then I’ll ready it for sale , perhaps frame it, and take it to the few trade shows I’ll be attending. It’s a lovely one to see in person.

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